Bye Bye Bertram
by Anna Marie Marcial
Summary: It's Christmastime in the Ross household! But Morgan and Christina discover Bertram's lazy, disgruntled self... he wasn't the charming, compliant butler they thought he was. Bertram loses his job as the Ross family butler - right in the middle of the Christmas holidays. What will happen to Bertram? Will the Ross family ever be the same without Bertram?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Jessie.** One mischievous December morning at the Ross family household, Bertram was doing something astray from his usual ritual - being friendly and helpful. Zuri giggled as the butler politely refilled her glass of eggnog. It was so funny to see Bertram actually doing his job! "Bertram, may I have another pancake, please?" Emma requested smoothly. "Of course, miss." Within 10 seconds, Bertram slipped a flapjack on Emma's plate. She snickered, clasping her hand over her lips. Bertram was hilarious when Mom and Dad were home! "Would anyone else care for another pancake?" Bertram offered, charming everyone with his refined mannerisms. That is, everyone except the children. Luke and Ravi's hands shot into the air. The boys glanced at each other with a grin. "Here you are, my fine sirs." Smiling cordially, Bertram placed pancakes on their plates. The boys chuckled. The girls giggled. "What is going on this morning?" wondered Christina, observing the children's laughter. Morgan pinched Zuri's gleeful cheeks. "Looks like our little rascals have a bad case of the giggles!" "What's so funny, guys?" Jessie said uncomfortably. She knew exactly what the fuss was about. "Bertram..." Zuri muttered, soft enough so her parents couldn't hear, but Bertram could. "Scamps," Bertram chuckled, hiding his frustration with a chipper smile. "Bertram, would you mind passing me the syrup?" Christina asked. "But it's... so far away..." murmured Luke, reaching for the bottle. The kids burst into laughter. Bertram shot an angry scowl at the kids (behind his bosses' backs, of course) as he picked up the syrup. His frown became an instant smile as he poured Christina some syrup. "There you go, ma'am." "You know it takes seventeen muscles to smile," Emma said. "I hope you didn't pull one of those muscles with that grin!" Through the children's laughter, Morgan requested, "Hey Bertram, how about some more eggs, when you get the chance?" "Yes, of course, sir." Bertram walked over to the pan and began to crack eggs. "Don't worry Bertram, your hand can take a nice, long nap when you're done," Zuri assured him sarcastically. Jessie, although she agreed with the jokes, had had enough. "Okay, off to school." Jessie set down her cup of coffee and led the kids to the elevator. "Have a great day, kids!" Jessie sent them on their way. As soon as they were loaded into the elevator, Jessie walked back into the kitchen. "You know," commented Christina, "I always feel like something fishy's going on." "Yeah," agreed Morgan, sniffing. "Bertram, did the salmon go bad?" Christina rolled her eyes. Bertram shrugged. "I guess your little angels just have a good sense of humor," he chuckled difficultly. "Yeah, I guess so." Morgan walked out, and Christina followed. That afternoon, Bertram became worn out from serving the Ross family. Not only was he exasperated from the children's obnoxious mocking, but he was thoroughly exhausted from acting - well, cooperative. "Yes, of course, madame, I will gladly vacuum the upstairs, " Bertram had told Christina just a few moments ago. But as he reached the top of the stairs, his fine position slumped into a sloppy posture. Instead of retrieving the vacuum cleaner from the closet like he promised, Bertram headed straight to his bedroom. Locking the door behind him, he collapsed in his recliner, instantly falling into a slumber, without a care in the world what the future had in store for him. Quietly sipping her tea, Christina sat peacefully in the kitchen. Morgan had gone off to work in the bedroom, Jessie was in the screening room, and the kids were at school, so unusually, things were hushed in the Ross home. Little did Christina know, the children returned home in a jiffy. _Ding!_ The kids entered the living room, immediately darting upstairs to their bedrooms. But as Luke passed Bertram's door, he stopped. Usually the one to stir up trouble, Luke laughed. "Hey, guys! Check it out!" he muttered, signaling his siblings to come. "Listen," Luke said as his brother and sisters put their ears up to the butler's door. Zuri snickered. "Bertram's snoring." Emma was bored, until she noticed Luke starting to open the door. She gasped. "Siblings, please do not disturb Bertram in his slumber! I do believe he has endured enough of our harassment," Ravi stuttered, moving in front of Luke. "Aw, man up, Ravi!" Zuri slapped his older brother's back. "You big baby." Ravi sighed. "Do not say I did not warn you." Luke was the first to tiptoe into the room. Zuri snuck in next, Emma quietly followed, but Ravi obediently stayed outside the door, refusing to go in. Zuri stifled a giggle as Luke grabbed a feather duster mounted on the wall and tickled Bertram's nose. The butler snorted, adjusting himself in his chair. Luke laid the feather duster on Bertram's chest and searched for another way to disturb the butler. Bertram began to pet the feather duster, pick it up and dusted imaginary furniture in his sleep. The kids couldn't help but burst into laughter. Bertram was being hilarious! "Uh-oh!" exclaimed Ravi. _Click, click, click._ The sound of Christina's heels clicking up the stairs increased. "I told you guys not to disturb Bertram!" scolded Ravi, peeking into the bedroom. "Huh," the kids heard their mother say. "I thought I told Bertram to vacuum." Christina entered Bertram's room. "Now, what is so funny?" She looked around. "And what are you rascals doing in here?" "I-um, we-uh..." the kids stammered. "I am sorry, Mrs. Mommy." Ravi shook his head. "I tried to tell them." Christina ruffled Ravi's hair. "It's alright, you guys, but don't do it again." The kids scattered off to their bedrooms. "Tsk, tsk." Christina closed the door behind her and traveled to her bedroom. "Oh, hi, honey." Morgan closed his computer and twirled around his swivel chair. "What's up?" "I just caught Bertram sleeping." Christina raised her eyebrows, suspicious. "He didn't vacuum the upstairs like I asked him." "Oh, babe, give the old man a break," Morgan curled a lock of hair around his wife's ear. "It's not like him to slack off like that," Christina continued. "He's always so attentive." "Honey, he's probably worn out from serving this rowdy family." Christina sighed. "I guess you're right," she said, but she was still very suspicious. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I own an iPod Touch! But I don't own Jessie...** "Walking in a winter wonderland…" hummed Jessie, setting up different snowmen figurines on the mantle in the living room. "I hate that song," Bertram pouted. Jessie shrugged. "Fine with me." So she began to sing a different tune; "We wish you a merry Christmas, we wish you a merry Christmas..." "Humph!" Bertram crossed his arms. "How can I have a merry Christmas when you ate all my figgy pudding?" "Bah! humbug," retorted the nanny sarcastically, thrusting the last snowman figure on the mantle and walking away. Thirsty for a hot beverage, Bertram waddled into the kitchen, opened the cupboard and carelessly reached for a mug. Slipping out of his hands, it clattered to the floor, shattering. Bertram rolled his eyes and reluctantly grabbed the broom and swept up the mess he'd made. Accumulating the last of the ceramic bits, Bertram groaned, not eager to retrieve the dustpan, bend down and sweep it up (it was so far), and toss it in the garbage. He lazily swept the mug pieces under the island and hoped no one would notice. Bertram trudged out of the kitchen and into the screening room. Christina, who had been hiding under the kitchen table, pushed herself out from between the chairs. Once again, she was disappointed in the butler. Christina glared at the pieces of broken mug, laying under the island. "Morgan!" Christina called. "Come down here!" 


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: Guess who doesn't own Jessie? :P** Morgan came down the stairs and into the kitchen. "What's the matter, honey?"

He stepped right in the pile of shattered mug. "Ow!" he exclaimed.

"That's the matter." Christina folded her arms.

"What happened?!" Morgan grunted, hobbling over to the dustpan and sweeping up the mess.

Watching her husband tap the broken bits into the garbage, Christina answered, "I watched Bertram from under the table, and—"

Morgan lifted an eyebrow. "Under the table?"

Christina looked around nervously.

"Cool! Can I try that sometime?" Morgan exclaimed.

Christina rolled her eyes. "Anyway, I saw him drop the mug, and he cleaned up the mess, but he just let it sit there, not bothering to use the dustpan!"  
"Huh," Morgan said.

"And now, he's sitting his lazy bum in the screening room!" Christina was frustrated.

"We'll keep our eyes on him, most definitely," Morgan assured her calmly. "Now, time to spy on people from under the kitchen table!"

Zuri happily skipped into the screening room, where Bertram was watching a cooking show.

"Hey Bertram," she said happily, "I was wondering if—"

"No!" Bertram scowled. "Whatever you want, you can't have it." Bertram stormed out of the screening room.

"And yet, you're still a butler!" Zuri retorted.

Zuri walked out of the screening room glumly.

"Why the frown, sweetheart?" Morgan said as he exited the kitchen. He scooped up his youngest daughter.

"Now tell Daddy, what's the matter?"

"Well, Bertram's—"Zuri stopped.

"Bertram what?"

"Oh nothing," Zuri nudged her father. "I was just pretending to be sad to see if you'd notice. I'm a trickster, ya know..."

"You sure are," agreed Morgan, dropping Zuri on the couch.

Zuri giggled as Morgan tickled her playfully.

Christina, who had seen Bertram snap at Zuri through the video surveillance system, was very upset.

She snuck into the screening room and peered into the kitchen where Bertram was.

"Jessie, the big mouthed nanny,  
Had a very blabbery mouth,  
And if you ever heard it,  
You would even scream and shout..."

Christina was horrified as she, from behind the screening room doorway, watched him dance around the kitchen, not cleaning like she had asked him earlier.

"Ugh," grumbled Bertram, plopping himself down in a chair and flipping open a magazine. "How did I ever get stuck 'serving' this obnoxious family?" he asked himself as he munched on his snack of cookies.

Christina shook her head, glancing once more at the dishes, which had not been loaded in the dishwasher, the floor, which had not been swept, the counters, which had not been wiped down. The kitchen was a mess, and Bertram did not do a thing about it.

Bertram got up, not bothering to clean up his magazine and snack, and hobbled upstairs.

Christina came up from behind the screening room doorway. She traveled upstairs to find Bertram, whom she was going to give a stern talking to. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Boris Yeltsin - Thank you for the tip. I will take note of that.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Jessie.**

Emma, Luke, and Ravi were decorating the Christmas tree.

Emma was twirling silver tinsel around the tree, Luke was setting up the skirt, and Ravi hung red and green balls on the branches.

Ravi began to sing a familiar tune, but the words were obviously in Hindi.

"Cāndī kī ghantī, cāndī kī ghantī, yaha śahara mēm krisamasa kā samaya hai," Ravi finished.

Slowly, Emma and Luke turned their heads towards their brother.

"Dude," Luke said, "what the heck was that?!"

"That was the American song 'Silver Bells', but in the language from my country," explained Ravi.

"Okay then." Emma resumed her tinsel twirling.

Suddenly, Morgan walked in. "Hey guys," he greeted them. "You guys decking the halls?"

"No, we are decking the tree," answered Ravi sensibly.

"Haha." Morgan ruffled his youngest son's hair. "Why isn't Zuri joining you?"

"I think she was in her room, playing with her dolls," guessed Emma.

"Alrighty. Thanks, kids!" Morgan hopped upstairs to find Zuri.

"Alright, Mrs. Kipling, time for a little holiday snack!" Ravi said excitedly. "I have some red and green chocolate covered crickets waiting for you in the kitchen."

Mrs. Kipling followed, er, slithered behind Ravi into the kitchen.

"Ooh! Ooh!" Luke exclaimed. "Can I have some?"

Mrs. Kipling hissed in response, confirming her answer as a firm NO.

Emma rolled her eyes. "You're nuttier than the chestnuts roasting on the open fire," she told Luke.

As Morgan walked over to Zuri's door, he heard sobbing, coming from her room.

Just as Morgan was about to call Christina, she came upstairs.

"What's going on?" she asked him.

"Listen." Morgan put his hand on the door.

"Zuri's crying." Christina was shocked. Then she remembered. "I know what happened."

"Hmm?"

"Zuri went into the screening room to ask Bertram a simple question, and Bertram snapped at her."

"No one should speak to my Zuri that way," Morgan said firmly.

Christina told her husband about all the other Bertram incidents.

"Oh, wow." Morgan raised his eyebrows. "I had no idea Bertram was that way.

"You know what this means," Christina said.

Morgan shook his head sadly. "We have no choice."


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I don't own Jessie.**

Zuri sat in front of her dollhouse, crying. Actually, she herself wasn't crying. Her Barbie was.

"Wah!" Zuri made her toy weep.

"Don't worry Maria," Zuri assured her dolly. "I'll find your puppy."

Suddenly, Zuri heard a knock on the door, and Emma stepped in.

"What are you doing?" asked Emma. "Don't you want to help decorate the tree with us?"

"Okay," agreed Zuri. She and Emma walked downstairs to the living room.

Emma's eyes lit with anger as she watch Luke handle the lights. "How many times have I told you?!" she screamed. "Gold lights don't go with rainbow lights!"

"And she's supposed to be the oldest?" Zuri sassed.

Luke nodded, covering his ears. "She's whinier than a toddler."

"I agree," Ravi chimed in, stepping in from the kitchen.

Morgan and Christina entered from the stairs into the living room.

"Wow, the tree is really coming along!" Christina put her arm around her oldest daughter.

"Thanks, Mom!" Emma gave Christina a squeeze.

Morgan scooped up Zuri and blew a raspberry on her stomach. Zuri giggled.

"You guys are so adorable, you make the angel tree topper look demonic!" Morgan ruffled Luke's hair.

"I know, right?" Ravi made an angelic puppy-dog face.

Bertram entered the living room. "The tree is looking beautiful," commented Bertram sweetly. "Almost as beautiful as the whole Ross family."

"Aw, thanks Bertram." Christina saw straight through Bertram's acting.

"Yeah, um, Bertram..." Morgan said, "can we talk to you for a minute?"

"Yes, sir," Bertram answered obediently. He followed Christina and Morgan into the screening room.

"Ooh," Zuri laughed, "Bertram's in trouble!"

"Oh, Zuri. I am sure that is not the case," Ravi assured Zuri.

"I wonder what they're talking about," Luke whispered.

Emma kicked her brother. "Luke! Go eavesdrop! Find out what they're saying!"

Zuri raised her eyebrows. "She's bossier than Jessie in army mode."

"Okay, okay!" Luke listened next to the door.

Luke had only heard the tail end of the conversation.

"Y-yes, ma'am," he heard the butler say. "I completely understand."

Luke didn't quite understand what the butler meant, for he had not heard the whole context of the conversation.

"They're leaving the screening room," Luke warned. "Hide!"

The children scattered to various rooms in the penthouse. As Luke peeked over the banister from the top of the stairs, he saw Morgan, put his arm around Bertram.

"I'm sorry," Morgan was saying to the butler. "We had to do it."

Had to do what? Luke asked himself. He ran off to find Jessie.

Jessie had gone out shopping for presents at Toyz - We Got 'Em! for the kids.

In the girls' aisle, Jessie spotted a pink ruffly scarf.

Rubbing the fabric between her fingers, Jessie wondered if Emma would like it, or if it were too "last season". She decided not to take the chance—she had gotten Emma enough gifts anyway.

She did, however, find a large purple fluffy bunny that Zuri would absolutely love.

Jessie finished checking out, had the cashiers wrap the gifts, and left the store.

Luke looked everywhere. Jessie wasn't anywhere in the penthouse, so he took the elevator downstairs to the lobby.

Jessie just happened to be back from a little bit of Christmas shopping.

"Jessie!" Luke said frantically.

Jessie rushed over to Luke. "What's wrong?"

"Something happened to Bertram!" he gasped. "I don't know what exactly, but something did!"

"What? Is he sick? Someone call an ambulance!" exclaimed Jessie.

"No, he's not sick." Luke rolled his eyes. "Just come!" He grabbed his nanny's hand and yanked her into the elevator.

After being dragged all the way upstairs (and not to mention being out of breath), Jessie hunched over, wheezing.

"Whoa," she said. "You haven't dragged me that fast since you wanted to show me your stinky stuff collection."

All of the other Ross kids gathered around.

"Did you find out what happened to Bertram yet?" Ravi asked.

"Not yet," Luke replied, "but we're trying to."

"This," Emma said seriously, "is more mysterious than when my favorite pumps disappeared!"

Everyone simultaneously turned around and stared at Emma.

"What?" Emma was confused. "Like that's not mysterious?"

"That is not the point, sister," Ravi interrupted. "We need to find out what Mrs. Mommy and Mr. Daddy said to Bertram!"

"Guys, calm down," Jessie fussed. She knocked on the butler's door.

There was no answer.

Zuri had kept quiet for too long. "Oh, for Pete's sake!" She was overwhelmed. She burst into Bertram's room. "What's going on?"

"Zuri—" Jessie began. Shocked, she stopped short when she saw what Bertram was doing.


	6. Chapter 6

**Hi guys! I am terribly sorry that the chapters were duplicated. I couldn't fix it right away, but here is the next chapter.**

"Bertram," Emma said quietly, "w-why are you packing up?"

Bertram huffed. He turned away.

Ravi became concerned. "Are you leaving us?"

Bertram nodded without a word.

Jessie placed each hand on

Ravi and Zuri's shoulders.

Luke sighed. "Guys—maybe it's for the best."

"He never was meant to be a butler anyway." Emma sort of laughed.

"Let's just leave him alone," Jessie said. "Bertram deserves his privacy." She shooed off the children to their rooms.

"Bertram, what happened?" Jessie asked.

Bertram chuckled. "The moment I have been waiting for since I started my job!"

Jessie was confused. "You wanted to get fired?"

Grinning, Bertram answered. "Yes."

"Then why didn't you just quit?"

"I was too scared. I had already made the impression that I was eager to work here," he pouted.

Jessie shook her head and left the room.

The kids had all gathered in the living room. Zuri was sitting on Jessie's lap on the couch next to Emma, and the boys sat by each other on the floor.

Morgan and Christina walked in. Morgan sat next to his eldest daughter on the couch, and Christina joined the boys on the floor.

There was an awkward pause.

Morgan broke the silence. "We came down to talk to you guys about something very important."

Zuri threw her hands up in the air. "We know, we know! Bertram got fired," she said.

"You do?" Christina noticed as the family nodded.

"He left a couple of hours ago," Morgan went on, "but I wanted to let you all know that a new butler is going to serve this family now."

"He'll be much more attentive, and—"

Ding! went the elevator. A middle-aged man stepped in.

"There he is now!" Christina got up to shake his hand.

"Kids," Morgan announced, "this is Arnold McDouglas."

"I am pleased to be serving you all," Arnold introduced himself cordially.

Emma was certainly interested in his looks — even if he was in his late thirties. She sighed dreamily into his dark brown eyes and short black hair with an adorable curl in the front.

Hideous name, totes cute appearance, Emma told herself.

"Hi," Jessie extended her hand to Arnold. "I'm Jessie, the nanny," she smiled.

Zuri grinned her cutest grin, placing her hands under her chin. "I'm Zuri, the cute one," she let him know.

"And I am Ravi, and this is my brother, Luke," Ravi concluded.

"Hi," Luke said.

"Beware of the winds from the east," warned Ravi, referring to Luke's hobby of breaking wind.

Luke sighed contentedly. "It's what I do best."

"Well, we will all do our best to make the Mr. McDouglas welcome," Jessie affirmed, picking up Arnold's suitcase.

"You are going to have a wonderful time butlering here." Christina smiled.

And for the moment, everyone forgot Bertram was even gone.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I don't own a personal Christmas tree. Or Jessie.**

Roaming he streets, Bertram was alone. He had nowhere to go. He had one small suitcase with his clothes — but that was it. He had taken nothing else with him.

He had nowhere to go. He considered searching for a job, but it was around 9:00 in the evening, so he decided to call it a night.

He curled up on a bench in Central Park. The same bench he and Emma sat on while Ravi and Luke fought over Tanya. At the same park that Millie the mermaid's funeral was at. The same spot where Zuri taught Bertram how to ride a bike.

Bertram tried to switch the subject within himself. He attempted to psych himself into believing everything was okay. He was going to be all right. He would find another job. There was hope.

Trying to stay positive (something he did not do very often), Bertram drifted off to sleep.

The sun rose, the sky was blue, and the snowflakes fell softly. Bertram yawned, stretched, and wondered why he wasn't in his bed. Then the current situation dawned on him.

He was hungry – as always – but he decided to save his dough. A philosophy he never lived by he decided to heed for once; "Food can wait."

He had little money—most of it was spent on bacon and donuts.

Gathering his suitcase and wallet, the shivering Bertram left the park, crunching through the snow.

"Now Bertie," he told himself firmly, "you are going to spend this money wisely."

He waddled over to the local hot dog stand and wasted his last five bucks on a jumbo hot dog and a hot chocolate.

Gulping the meal down in an instant, Bertram muttered, "Money well spent."

Things seemed to be working out well at the Rosses'—at first.

Arnold was very attentive, even when Morgan and Christina were away. He made the beds every morning, he vacuumed/swept the floors regularly, and dinner was always on schedule (it even tasted good!).

Things were perfect.

Arnold made sure that Emma's shoes were in order from in-season to going out-of-style, like she requested. He arranged Zuri's dolls and stuffed toys to her liking. He even cleaned Mrs. Kipling's cage daily for Ravi. The only issue was when he tidied Luke's destroyed room—Luke wasn't too happy about that. He liked his room trashed.

"These homemade Christmas sugar cookies were totes amazing," gushed Emma as the family finished up dinner dessert.

"I appreciate it, miss." Arnold nodded modestly, refilling the girl's cup of egg nog.

The kids and Jessie swept their crumbs into the trash. Arnold gladly took the dishes and cleared the table.

"It is so wonderful having a good butler," Ravi sighed with relief.

"I know, but things are really different." There was a hint of sadness in Zuri's voice.

Luke rolled his eyes. "Yeah, in a good way."

Emma laughed. "I know! Arnold is supes sweet, and charming, and—"

"Yeah yeah, whatever Juliet." Zuri waved her hands. "Take you and your love life somewhere else."

Emma stuck her tongue out at her little sis.

"Yeah, I just wish he would play with us like Bertram did," Ravi admitted.

"Yeah," Zuri said. "He does things kind of different."

"Well, I'm happy with him." Luke was sure of himself. "I don't miss Bertram a bit."

"True," agrees Emma. "Unlike Bertram, Arnold hasn't left our side once."

"Kind of like Luke." Jessie made a face, peeling the boy from her side.

"I can't help but hug you!" was Luke's excuse. "You keep me warm on a cold December night."

Jessie was skeptical. "That's the fire's job," she said.

Ravi sighed as he sat by Mrs. Kipling on the couch in his room. This was normally the time of year when he and Bertram made gingerbread flavored chai together. He was going to have to find something else to do.

He considered playing dreidel with Jessie, but he remembered that she had gone out Christmas shopping a few hours ago.

He ended up knocking on Zuri's door to ask her if there was anything she wanted to do.

"After all, what is there to do on a boring night like this?" he was telling his sister.

"Hmm, let's see." Zuri tapped her chin mockingly. "Our parents are millionaires, we have a butler who will cook any last thing we request, and downstairs we have a whole room dedicated to watching movies. Absolutely nothing to do!" she hissed sarcastically.

Ravi huffed. "'Tis the season to be jolly," he muttered.

"I'm busy decorating my personal Christmas tree. Maybe later," Zuri sighed, shutting her brother outside the door.

Ravi knocked on Emma's door and asked her the same question he asked previously.

"Well..." Emma started to say, "my nails are still wet from my Christmas manicure, but we can do something that doesn't include hands," she said.

"We can watch a movie in the screening room," suggested Ravi.

"Yes!" exclaimed Emma. "I've been meaning to catch up on the Cupcake Channel. They're doing a Christmas special! Me and Bertram—" She stopped short.

Ravi's eyes flashed fearfully. "Emma?" he said softly.

"Bertram..." Emma began. Her face crumpled and she began to cry. She seemed to melt into Ravi's arms.

They stood there in that hug for a while.

Meanwhile, Jessie returned from her shopping. She headed upstairs to stash the presents she had bought.

She saw Emma hold her brother tight, sobbing. Jessie's bags tumbled to the floor and she ran over to the children.

"Emma! sweetie, what's wrong?" Jessie clutched the girl to her.

"It's stupid," Emma sniffled as Jessie stroked her hair. "I started talking about how Bertram and I were going to watch a cooking show and – I lost it!" Emma laid her head on her nanny's chest.

"It's okay, Emma," whispered Jessie. "We all need time to adjust to this."

Ravi's lip quivered. "You know, not that I think about it, I realize that I do miss Bertram too." He ran over to Jessie, threw his arms around her waist and cried.

Luke burst out of his bedroom. "Make that three of us," he cried, burying his head in Jessie's shoulder.

"Aww, guys..." Jessie ruffled Ravi's hair and patting Luke's back. "It'll be okay. I'm sad too."

Ruining the touching moment, Zuri opened her bedroom and sassed with 'tude, "All of you guys have some serious issues!"

The four whipped their heads around.

Zuri crossed her arms and raised her eyebrows. "I'm eight, and I don't give a flying fig that Bertram's gone."

Jessie was indignant. "Zuri, that is no way to talk to your siblings! Flying fig is not a good analogy."

The kids were confused.

"My point is," Jessie continued, "we all have mixed feelings about Bertram being gone. But we will get through this... Right?"

Silence.

Suddenly, Emma burst out: "Right!"

"It's nothing, really!" Luke said. "I mean, he's just a dumb old butler."

"Why are we even crying?" Ravi chimed in.

"Exactly!" Zuri threw her hands into the air.

"That's the spirit, guys!" Jessie cheered.


	8. Chapter 8

**Hope you all are having a wonderful Christmas Eve! Here is the second-to-last chapter!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Jessie. Maybe I'll get it for Christmas...**

It was Christmas Eve morning and Bertram had not found a job. He wandered around, lost. It was snowing and he had nowhere to stay. He secretly wished he was back at the Ross's home, which was really his home, too. But he would rather serve anyone than to shiver out here on the biggest night of the year. Not a single soul had stopped to help him. He begged to nearly every person he saw, but thy all rushed past him with their bags and boxes stashed with holiday goodies. No one had time for the gruff old man.

"Just face it, Bertram," he told himself for the hundredth time as he plopped himself down on a bench. "This is your fault. You got yourself into this mess."

It was so cold. Bertram reached into his suitcase, got out his red sweater and pulled it up over his head.

A small boy and his mother walked past him.

The child gasped, yanking his mom's hand. "Look, Mommy! Santa lost his beard and now he's living on the street!"

The embarrassed mother started to speak to her kid, but Bertram interrupted.

"Wanna come sit on my lap?" Bertram said desperately.

"Noooo!" The child screamed, grabbing his mother's jacket.

The lady yanked he son away, and shot Bertram and angry glare.

Bertram had no hope. Wondering if this Christmas Eve could get any worse, he buried his head in his arms and wept.

Zuri sat on the floor while Jessie braided her hair. Zuri was wearing her favorite Christmas outfit; a red and white with little snowmen on it, and leggings with a peppermint design. She truly looked adorable.

Luke hopped downstairs. He sat down on the couch.

"Jessie," he said hesitantly, "I know you said we'll get over Bertram and stuff, but it feels... different."

"Yeah," Zuri concurred. "Christmas Eve doesn't feel fun and glamorous like it normally does."

Emma stepped in. "Even in my new holiday heels, Christmas doesn't feel like it used to."

Mrs. Kipling hissed in agreement.

"Even though all of the Christmas decorations are up," Ravi said sadly, "With all the pictures of Bertram and the family taken down, Christmas feels in vain."

"Ravi," Luke said, "you know if you keep using dorky phrases like that, your chance of popularity will be 'in vain?'"

Ravi ignored Luke.

"Guys, calm down." Jessie placed a kind arm around Ravi. "Mommy and Daddy will be home at six, and everything will be all better. Okay?"

"Yeah, I guess so," the kids muttered amongst each other, hopes rising.

"Now, I got Arnold here to bake us some gingerbread cookies." Jessie smiled proudly. "And we–" she stood up "–are going to decorate them!"

"Yay!" the children exclaimed, cheering up greatly.

Life was a blur to Bertram. He tuned out every last noise, from the Santa Claus's jolly "Season's Greetings!" to the silver bells tinkling above the street noise of the busy city.

He had no clue where he was headed or what he was in for. He wandered down the sidewalks that were being shoveled by merry men, who were shouting to everyone, "Merry Christmas, and a happy New Year!"

Not daring to look up, Bertram was headed for nowhere. He bumped a number of people, not stopping to a single one of them to say, "excuse me".

The group of people he happened to walking with stopped at the traffic light, but Bertram, who wasn't paying attention, kept walking across the street. The cars were in a hurry and had no time to stop and think of what was in front of them.

Hearing the traffic rushing upon him, Bertram had no time to stop. The truck was coming closer and closer—and fast.

The truck came to a screeching halt, but it was too late.

The last thing Bertram felt was the wind rushing past him as he crashed to the asphalt, plus the indescribable pain as the mighty truck knocked him down like bowling pin. The last things he saw were the intimidating lights of the truck as it hit him.

"That was so fun," sighed Zuri in the screening room. It was now 5:00, and they were all chatting as they watched they watched a Christmas program, eating popcorn and drinking egg nog and soda. "My bikini gingerbread girl was the best!"

"Huh," Luke replied. "I still think mine was tops!"

Jessie raised her eyebrows. "A gingerbread Santa in his boxers? Tops?"

Luke grinned. "Anything butt-related is what I do best," he said, letting a big one rip.

"Eeeeeeuuuuw!" Emma squealed. "You're more revolting than khakis."

"Mmmmmm-hmmmmmm." Zuri took a swig of gingerbread Coke.

"I still think the gingerbread cookie in the sherwani Ravi made was really cute," Jessie said.

"Why, thank you, Jessie," Ravi replied. "But it is a shame such wonderful art had to be devoured by a vicious animal."

"Sorry, I was hungry!" Luke folded his arms.

"You know," Emma said thoughtfully, "I think we're doing relatively well now. I mean, without Bertram and all."

"Yeah!" Zuri agreed. "I mean, we're here having the best Christmas ever without him."

"We are officially over it," Ravi said.

"Aww, guys," Jessie smiled, putting her arm around Emma and Luke. Zuri and Ravi hopped up on Jessie's lap, and they all proceeded in a family hug.

Luke, by accident, slipped off the arm of the chair and bumped the remote, changing the channel.

"Oops," he said. He grabbed the remote, about to change the channel back to the Christmas program.

"W-wait! Stop! Leave it!" Jessie said quickly. "There's something on the news."

Luke kept it on the news channel. On the screen, it showed a fat, bald man being carried away on a stretcher, in the midst of a scene where, apparently, there had been a car accident.

The whole Ross family was wide-eyed at the horrible accident.

"Wow," Emma observed. "That guy looks just like—"

"Shh!" Ravi shushed. "Please be quiet, sister, we are trying to watch!"

"This man was hit by a truck earlier today," the newswoman was saying. "They took out his wallet and his identity reads—"

"Bertram!" Zuri screamed. "You nitwits, that is Bertram!"

"Bertram Winkle." The newslady's words echoed eerily in everyone's mind.

Bertram woke up in the hospital. His right leg was in a cast, as was his left arm. A brace was clasped strongly around his neck. He could barely move, and he was bruised all over.

"Well, Mr. Winkle, we're glad to see you're conscious again." The doctor leaned over Bertram.

"What happened...?" Bertram was dizzy and confused.

"Please, allow me to introduce myself." The doctor pulled out his card. "I am George, but you can call me Dr. Fairfield."

"Okay, but... I'm still confused," the bewildered Bertram said.

"Sir, witnesses affirmed that you stepped out in front of traffic and were hit by a truck. It's a miracle you survived," the doctor was saying. "We thought for sure that you would slip into a coma."

"Oh, well... um," Bertram was speechless. "What's going on?"

"Bertram!" screamed Zuri, Ravi, Luke, Emma and Jessie as they burst through the door. "Oh, you're all right!"

They attempted to shower him with bear hugs, but the doctor put his hand out.

"Please, children," the doctor said calmly. "Your father will be all right."

"He's not our father," Emma began.

Ravi stepped forward. "He is our ex-butler!"

"But we love him just the same!" Zuri nearly squashed poor Bertram with a huge hug.

Even through the pain, Bertram managed to give Zuri a squeeze in return. "Oh, I've missed you guys," Bertram cried.

Morgan and Christina tore into the room.

"There you guys are!" Christina gasped. "If it weren't for the tracking device on my phone..."

"Jessie, we demand an explanation!" Morgan was angry.

Before Jessie had a chance to speak, Christina interrupted, "What? Is that our ex-butler?! Come on everybody, we are out of here."

Jessie spoke up. "Morgan, Christina... There's been something we all have been holding off telling you. Maybe it would be stronger coming from the kids."

"Yeah," Zuri said. "He isn't perfect, but we love him."

"He is part of our family," Ravi said meaningfully. "Just like Jessie!"

"Agreed!" Luke joined in. "Even though she's not the best at the nanny thing, we love her anyway."

"Well, I feel loved." Jessie raised her eyebrows.

Emma laughed. "And it's like that with Bertram. Even if his butlering skills aren't perfect, there's a big hole in the family when he isn't with us." She paused. "Kind of like leggings."

Bertram was touched. "I'm glad you guys still care."

"We do, Bertram," Zuri sat of the foot of his hospital bed.

"I've been sad when you weren't here to watch couture cooking shows with me," Emma admitted.

Luke confessed, "And Ravi and I have really missed using you as a punching bag."

Ravi smiled bashfully, nodding.

"I have too, guys." Bertram smiled sadly.

"We can't do any of that with Arnold, our new butler." Zuri's tone was nasty.

"Aww, that's so sweet, guys," Morgan gushed.

"...But," Christina's disapproving voice said, "it can't change the fact that this disrespectful old man made my youngest daughter cry."

"What?" everyone, including Bertram, asked, perplexed.

"Bertram disrespected Zuri and made her cry." Christina folded her arms. "Absolutely no one deserves a butler like that."

Morgan nodded in agreement. "We heard her in her room."

They all, especially Zuri, were very puzzled.

Then, Zuri's eyes lit up when she remembered. "I wasn't crying!" she exclaimed suddenly. "That was my doll! Who do think I am, Ravi?!"

"Hello, I am standing right here!" Ravi was indignant.

"It wasn't you, honey?" Morgan sat on the edge of the bed as well.

"No. Well, it was," explained Zuri, "but it was fake."

"We really do love Bertram," Emma said, and she sat down next to him.

The others, including Jessie, came to sit by Bertram for a big hug.

"Please let him be our butler again, Mrs. Mommy!" Ravi begged his mother, hands clasped together.

"No." Morgan's harsh words pierced the children's hearts like a dagger. "He is simply not fit to be a butler."

"I agree." Christina seemed to have no mercy, in spite of the fact that everyone's hearts should be light and merry. "We are going home to our hardworking butler, who will tend our every need – unlike this bum."

It was no use. What was done was done, and there was nothing the kids could say that would get their precious butler back.

Zuri sniffled as she hopped into Jessie's arms. Ravi laid his head on Emma's shoulder, and she put her arm around him. Luke held Jessie's hand and they all followed Morgan and Christina out the door.

**Last chapter posted faithfully tomorrow! Hope you all are as excited as I am!**


	9. Chapter 9

**LAST CHAPTER! I'm so excited! I bet you all are having a wonderful Christmas! I know I am. Hope you and your family are having a great time! Keep in mind that Christmas isn't just about presents, but it's about giving to others, family, and most of all, the Christ Child that was born. God bless!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Jessie! But it's Christmas so I'm happy!**

"Luke? Zuri? Wake up, it's Christmas!" Jessie nudged the two awake. They had fallen asleep watching "Frosty the Snowman" in the screening room the previous night. "Wake up and see what Santa brought you!"

Zuri yawned and stretched. "Okay," she said grudgingly.

Luke, too, woke up and grunted. "I may have asked for that fart machine, but now, the only thing I want is Bertram."

"Me too." Zuri sighed. "Candy and toys aren't worth it." She shrugged. "It doesn't hurt though." She hopped up and ran out into the living room.

Luke got up and followed his sister.

Jessie went upstairs to wake up Ravi, Emma, and Mrs. Kipling who all had a sleepover in Jessie's room.

Doing her best to draw attention away from Bertram, she had to shake the two hard sleepers awake. "Morning, guys! It's Christmas!"

"Good morning Jessie," Ravi yawned. "...but I do not feel Christmas will be the same without our butler."

"We have Arnold," Emma said brightly, attempting to positively keep the Christmas spirit. "We aren't completely butler-less."

"Well, your brother and sister are waiting downstairs. Feel free to come join us," Jessie said, patting Emma's shoulder.

The family gathered downstairs and prepared to open their presents - but two people were missing.

Morgan and Christina entered into the living room and observed that the kids were already digging into their stockings.

"Who wants cocoa?" Christina placed a mug in everyone's hands.

Still ticked with her mother, Emma looked up from the new necklace she received from Santa and shot back angrily, "Aren't you doing Arnold's job?"

Ignoring her, Morgan spoke up. "You know how we normally open the biggest presents last?"

Everyone nodded, wondering where he was going with the conversation.

"Well, this year," Morgan informed everyone, "your mother and I wanted to give you all the biggest present – first."

"Jessie doesn't even know about it," Christina said.

"I don't?" Jessie asked quickly.

"Nope." Morgan grinned mischievously. "Come on in!" he called.

Ding! The elevator doors opened and Bertram wheeled himself in.

"Bertram!" exclaimed the ecstatic kids (including Jessie). "You're home!"

The beaming parents looked at each other. "Bertram has our permission to live here again," Christina announced.

"Yay!" Everyone attacked Bertram with bear hugs again.

"IF," Morgan continued, "he promises to work harder and treat everyone with respect as a butler."

"You will, will you not, Bertram?" Ravi asked hopefully.

Bertram smiled widely. "I will."

"Woo hoo!" they all cheered.

While the kids chatted excitedly with Bertram, Jessie walked over to hr bosses.

"So, what made you change your mind about Bertram coming back?" asked Jessie curiously.

"Well," Christina pondered, "it was obvious that the kids couldn't live without him. And Arnold was bor-ing!"

"Yeah," Morgan said. "And when we saw how the kids enjoyed Bertram the way he was, it made us realize that it's not always about what Christina and I want."

"Yeah, I can tell from the looooong list of gifts you had me get them," Jessie observed.

"But anyway, we knew how much he belonged here, and we asked him back." Christina clapped her hands together.

"Aww, that's so sweet," Jessie said sympathetically.

"But I mean, we missed him too, so..." Morgan laughed.

"Bertram," Emma said as soon as everyone calmed down, "Zuri, Ravi, Luke and I wanted to give you something. I think we need to alter it, though. Zuri?"

"You got it, sista!" Zuri clicked her tongue, winked, and gave her sis two thumbs up. Then she darted into the kitchen. She returned with what appeared to be a white t-shirt. She handed it to Bertram, who turned it around and read, "Best Butler Ever."

The t-shirt originally read "Worst Butler Ever," but the kids has crossed off the "worst" and replaced it with "best" that very morning.

"Aw, kids, that's so sweet." Bertram pinched Luke's cheeks. "And it's true, too."

"Sure is..." "Absolutely, Bertram." "Of course it is true." The kids laughed nervously.

"Well, ain't it the truth!" Zuri plopped herself on Bertram's lap.

"Let's have the best Christmas ever," Jessie cheered. "I propose a toast–" Jessie raised her mug of cocoa "–to Bertram, the best butler ever!"

"To Bertram!" Everyone clinked their mugs.

And they had the best Christmas ever.

**God bless us, everyone!**


End file.
